real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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