I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
