okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
