wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i've created a new STD.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
