I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
