btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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