plz talk dirty to me
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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