I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
There are leaves in my underwear?
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