fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
