That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
