he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
