remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
