Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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