I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
