I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
NoShamevember. You game?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
