One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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