he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
