it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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