I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
