I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
