DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
