Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Randomize
