It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
