We're facebook friends in real life
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
