very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
