Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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