i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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