YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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