From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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