about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
