Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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