I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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