apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
