How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My vagina just recognized that song.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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