You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
