i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
