is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
