there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
420 ftw
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
