Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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