cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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