dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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