I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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