it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I pour the whiskey from now on
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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