The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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