all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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