Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
