We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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