My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
People in love make me want to vomit
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
