My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
