Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
