did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
