i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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