if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
