the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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