I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
