Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize