i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
