Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You have to summon your inner elephant
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize