I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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