It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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