so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
