Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
